Thursday, May 14, 2015
Blog #6 How I Really Feel... I Think
Sooo.... I decided I am going to take a break from writing about my family problems for the night and I will tell you how I really feel about Tyler. Tyler, I used to be head over heels for him but I can't do it anymore. He is just so annoying and I just need to breathe! I need my space he just smothers me! Ive been talking to other guys and I know its wrong but they make me laugh when I get so mad! I know I'm just looking for any escape I can, and I think I have been doing this for awhile. Now I think he knows we are at our breaking point. There is just no connection. I am one of the happiest people and the moment he texts me I get pissed. I don't want to be unhappy this summer I want to live, I want to be crazy, not faking being crazy in love. I can't tell him anything, if I tell him something personal I get the same damn thing every time and he makes it worse. I just need him to tell me it will be okay and let me rant to him not feel pity for me. He makes me feel small which is funny because I'm a little bit taller than him... I'm 5'3. I just feel like he thinks I can't do anything on my own and it makes me mad. Another thing is he just isn't any fun! He is boring and never wants to do anything! And I know I can do so much better, I don't know why I don't. I also feel like our relationship only works when we do sexual things but we don't actually have sex of course. I don't even want that type of relationship, I want to be with a man who will dance with me and be fun, crazy, and adventurous. I just don't know how much longer I can take it. The one I really like I could never be with, he lives to far away :(. I don't know what to do, do I just wait it out till the summer? If any one is reading this please help. He really is a great guy and I do care about him its just we aren't working anymore.