Wednesday, June 17, 2015
So I am so sorry my computer got a virus and it was just all jacked up!! I have also been really busy with softball, basketball, and dance so I apologize for not blogging, as if you wanted to hear about my life (insert laughing emoji). So while I was gone Tyler and I thought we might try to work things out. I put down my foot though and I said that we wouldn't be anything until after this summer and of course he didn't take that well. I am always on the lake or playing a sport and I just don't have time to text him! He freaks out though, I have to tell him everything and if I don't I am pushing him away. Maybe I am pushing him away! One of the many reasons we broke up was because I felt like he wanted my body and he didn't love me. Guess what, we hung out the other day and he put his hands in my pants as soon as he got there, he didn't even kiss me first. I don't want to do any of that until I feel like him and I both have feelings for each other again. He is so confusing like he makes me feel bad for him and says he loves me and he can't live without me but being with him almost hurts because I feel like he just has to touch me. I have tried to tell him these things but he just says I am sorry, or It won't happen again I promise, and of course I love you, don't leave me I need you, etc... He also keeps saying that he wants things to go back to how they were, well we broke up because of how we were so does he just want to make up to break up? Fuck it, I think I just want to be done with him for awhile at least. Besides Tyler my summer has actually been a lot of fun, me and my fiends are closer than ever and the lake is just so much fun. My cousin Drake and I are also really close he is pretty much my brother and we have been hanging out a lot which is a blast cause we are like the same person. This is off topic but if you know any good songs let me know because I need a summer playlist! Thats all I have for the night so later bitches! xoxo
Monday, June 1, 2015
So I have decided rather then dealing with Tyler and all of his gay ass messages trying to get me back I am just ignoring him. I am ignoring him by losing my phone on purpose and letting it die, not charging it unless I need to. I am also doing this to avoid all the other fuck boys trying to get with me and the drama that comes with them. I just don't want to be locked down this summer and fight and stress about boys. I also just do not have an urge to talk to anyone. At this point I am starting to become a bitch who hates every guy. Its all because of Tyler, he broke my heart but still won't let go which hurts more and more everyday. I guess my way of being strong is being pissed at every guy who likes me. I know that's fucked up but I can't deal with somebody else trying to be "my person". I don't want to tell someone how my day is everyday when it sucks everyday. Okay maybe I'm being a little dramatic. My life isn't that bad and my days are kind of good but when talking to another guy it sucks because I feel like I should be talking to Tyler. I know he sucked as a boyfriend but he took up a lot of my life. He just became such a perv and a fuck boy towards the end of our relationship and he is still the same now that we broke up. I don't know guys are so cute but they are assholes. Anyways I am going to bed because I am just in that mood today Later bitches xoxo!